Let’s Get It On: How does Your Sex Life Line Up With These UK Averages?
It's one of those questions people wonder about but don't really want to ask. Despite being a complex subject to discuss, sex is part of a healthy adult relationship and is known to enhance intimacy between a couple.
The big question is, how does your sex life align with UK averages? Are you getting enough of it? Or, is your private life about as exciting as a House of Commons speech?
We're about to break apart the stigmas and give you nothing but the cold, hard facts. Let's look at what's really going on between the sheets.
How often are people having sex in the UK?
Now, you might think with our highly modern and open-minded society that everyone's having more sex. However, a report by the BBC highlights that people today are having less sex than in the 1990s and early 2000s.
The 2019 research confirmed that under half of women and men have sex at least once weekly, while people over 25 witnessed the most significant fall in frequency.
Single people are just as likely to report less sex as couples. Let's look at some numbers by age:
- People between 18 to 29 have sex twice a week on average.
- Individuals aged between 30 and 39 have sex around 1.6 times a week.
- People in the 40 to 49 age group have sex around 1.3 times a week.
As the Kinsey Institute reports, the frequency decreases with age, which can be due to numerous factors.
How much sex do couples have on average?
We all know the general opinion about relationships: the longer a couple is together, the less sex they have. What starts as ripping each other's clothes off at every possible moment becomes a routine only on birthdays and anniversaries—but is that true?
We turned to Tracey Cox for more information, and this is what she had to say about the subject.
- During the honeymoon period, new couples have sex frequently, but this number decreases once they move in together.
- Most newlyweds experience a decrease in the amount they have sex, with 62% claiming they'd like more.
- The average couple has sex around eight to nine times a month initially, but after two years together, the number decreases to six times.
What about older couples?
While the common belief is that all adults witness a decline in sex drive over a certain age, this isn't necessarily true. Some older adults have an increase in libido, which can be attributable to less stress after retirement.
Research published by Age Times, 86% of adults aged between 60 and 69 have sex regularly, while 34% of women and 59% of men between 70 and 79 are active. Even more impressive, 14% of women and 31% of males over 80 are also sexually active.
Why are people having less sex?
In our always-on society, it's no secret that we're busier than ever - but is that the only thing that's contributing to the average person having less sex than in previous decades? Let's find out.
Higher stress levels
Smartphones constantly beeping, trying to avoid reading messages from your manager outside working hours, and emails coming through at all hours means it's more complicated than ever to leave your work at the office.
Many people find this additional stress impacts their emotional wellbeing, making concentrating on spending time with their partners harder.
Changing dynamics
We all know that gender dynamics have significantly changed, with the number of women staying at home decreasing yearly from the 1980s onwards (The Guardian).
Jobs are no longer something you have to do but career choices that enable people to focus on reaching their professional goals.
Many people have other priorities now, which means they have less time to focus on their relationships than before.
More pressure
In this celebrity-dominated world, it's easy to see why self-esteem issues are an ongoing battle for both men and women. The airbrushed faces and toned bodies mean many people feel unhappy with their appearance, which can influence sexual desire.
While often associated with women, men can also suffer from severe self-esteem issues, but spending time with women and building confidence can help males regain their libido.
Digital influences
Social media and other forms of content mean it's easy for people to become distracted, but we also need to factor in the availability of online pornography. Those shameful trips to the adult video store are long gone, and all people need to do now is visit a website.
With some people turning to pornography for their sexual desires, it inevitably results in fewer sessions with a partner.
Do men really want more sex than women?
Most people already know that men think about sex a lot more than women, with recent studies concluding that males think about it around 19 times a day, which is a lot less than the hundreds of times people suggest.
However, it was almost double that of women, and it seems married men also want more sex than women.
Research published by NBC highlights that only 32% of men are happy with their sex lives, compared to 40% of women. Furthermore, 48% of men who cheated on their partner said it was because they wanted more sex.
So, the answer to this question is yes, but it's not as extreme as stereotyping would have us believe.
What can we learn about the average person's sex life?
Regardless of age, gender and lifestyle, there's no set amount that people should have sex, as it depends on individual desires. Everyone is different, and even small lifestyle changes can impact your libido.
Sex should be an open channel of communication between two people, where each can discuss their needs and feel comfortable with their partner.
Enjoy the time you spend with people, and be comfortable with who you are. That's the most important thing.
