Problems In The Bedroom? Here’s How To Let Your Partner Know What You Really Think
Whether it’s a casual encounter or a long-term relationship, what goes on in the bedroom impacts how we feel about ourselves.
That fantastic experience that helped you discover who you were will live rent-free in your brain forever, but that horrific encounter will creep in now and then.
All males have preferences regarding body type, position and their partner in general - but is honesty really the best policy?
So, sit back and relax as we reveal some non-verbal cues to turn your sex life from a rainy British day to summer in Miami.
To wax or not to wax?
There are no set standards for pubic hair; everyone has preferences. However, conveying those preferences is no easy feat.
For example, research from Statista shows that women under 30 are more likely to remove all of their pubic hair, while men of the same age usually trim theirs.
A comprehensive study from YouGov shows how men really like a woman’s pubic hair to be, with the following results:
- Most men preferred a woman to be trimmed, with a standard bikini line and Hollywood style being the second and third most popular options. Surprisingly, 32% said they liked the natural look.
- Women prefer their men to be trimmed or natural, with fewer wanting men to remove all of their hair.
As you can see from this study alone, preferences vary depending on what you find most attractive. So, how do you bring it up without hurting your partner?
Subtlety is key
It’s much better to be subtle about your preferences, rather than telling a woman her down there ‘do’ is a real turn-off. You could ask her how she feels about yours, opening doors for a conversation where you can share your opinions.
Of course, there’s also the opportunity to bring it up later in the relationship, but thinking about her feelings and approaching the topic gently is best for everyone involved.
A lack of confidence
Both men and women can deal with body image issues, and there’s nothing less sexy than worrying about your wobbly bits. Women struggle more with these issues than men, and celebrity culture can make anyone insecure (Parliament).
Men find confidence sexy, and a woman who’s happy with how she looks can result in amazing sex that rocks your world. So, if your female partner insists on turning the light off, feels uncomfortable when you touch her and won’t get on top, she’s likely worrying about her body and what you’re thinking about it.
Be gentle
There’s no point in asking her outright why she’s so self-conscious because she’ll likely retreat even more. Compliments are powerful ways to help someone rediscover their self-esteem and feel more confident in the bedroom.
Tell her you think she’s beautiful and can’t keep your hands off her. This can also enhance your sex life because women who feel attractive are more likely to enjoy intimacy.
When things are getting a bit boring
If the weekly ten-minute missionary is getting you down (quite literally), it might be time to mix things up. Some women think the man likes to take control, which might mean passively waiting for you to make all the moves.
Ask her
When we say ask her, we don’t mean giving her the Spanish Inquisition. Instead, discuss what she likes and discover her deepest desires.
Some women might feel comfortable opening up about different positions, which means you turn a beige sex life into red-hot fun. Even just taking things out of the bedroom can inject some passion into the relationship, so don’t be afraid to mix it up.
Being unresponsive
You know the feeling; you’ve brought your A-game and expect your partner to be languishing in a state of ecstasy. All men want to be fantastic lovers, but women are complex beings. What works for one might have no impact on another at all.
If your partner’s not responding to your best moves, you know something’s wrong. Some will politely tune into Meg Ryan and fake a life-changing orgasm, but others might send subtle signs that say it’s just not working for them.
So, what can you do about it?
Discover her preferences
If you notice something doesn’t seem right, be bold. Ask her what you’re doing wrong and how to improve it.
Many women will love this as it shows you care about her pleasure instead of just satisfying your needs.
Lack of experimentation
Just like certain positions work for different people, kinks and fetishes might be the only thing that gets your engine running. Whether it’s a foot fetish, BDSM, roleplaying, or anything else, you might struggle to find partners who are willing to push their limits with you.
It’s important not to rush someone into a new experience; you should never try convincing them. Some people might not want to engage in some kink, which is their decision.
Find your ideal partner
Fetishes aren’t necessarily about sex, and many people find they have a satisfying experience just by engaging in their deepest desires.
If you’d like to push your limits, finding a sexy lady willing to experiment in a safe setting can set you on a path of discovery.
Once you know what you like, finding a mutually beneficial relationship where both parties are happy is easier.
The bottom line
Everyone has preferences in terms of who they’re attracted to and what works for them in the bedroom; approaching your partner maturely means both people can learn from the experience.
Remember, there might be things she’d like to change about you, and you’ll need to accept that. Once both of you know where you stand, there’s nothing to stop you from enjoying a full sex life.
