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Quality Over Quantity: Debunking the Myths of Sexual Frequency

For many, sex is intrinsic to a happy and fulfilling relationship. It brings two people together, increases intimacy, and feels great! There's a widespread belief that more sex equals more happiness—that those clocking up the numbers are somehow reaping greater rewards in the bedroom. 

But does quantity really trump quality? Imagine this: one couple experiences a single, earth-shattering encounter every couple of weeks, while another has a routine roll in the hay daily, yet never quite hits those heights of bliss. 

This article aims to debunk the myths surrounding sexual frequency, guiding you through what truly makes for a gratifying sexual journey together.

How often are people in the UK getting down and dirty?

According to YouGov, the average UK couple has sex 1.1 times a week, but 18-19-year-olds top the chart at 1.8 times weekly. Around one-fifth of adults in their 40s stated they don't have sex at all, with these numbers increasing as people age. 

An article from Yahoo reports that just 19% of married couples have sex two or three times weekly, with Northern Ireland residents having the most sex. 

Research also shows that men are more likely to exaggerate the number of sexual partners they've had (The Independent). 

So, the next time a friend or colleague is bragging about his daily sex sessions, the chances are he's having the same amount - or less sex than you. 

Quantity vs quality stripped bare 

Now you know what the UK's averages look like, it's time to explore whether you should be having more sex. There are multiple factors to consider here, including the quality of your sex life, how close you feel to your partner and whether you're experimenting. 

Duration 

People are busier today than ever before, with hectic schedules and numerous personal commitments. Making time for a romantic evening can be an uphill struggle, but most agree it's worth the extra effort. 

Say you did manage to fit in a daily session. Would it last for long? Most couples could fit in a ten-minute quickie in front of the evening news, but that doesn't exactly spell passion. 

In contrast to a passionate evening with plenty of foreplay, massages and perhaps a little 69 action, it's clear that quality wins hands down here. 

Experimentation 

There's nothing like experimentation to ignite passion in the bedroom. While daily sex can be fun, it often leaves little to the imagination. Women need time to get in the mood, and that's not always possible with a ten-minute session. 

When you have time for things to develop, there's more room for boundary-pushing and indulging in some fantasies. High arousal can lead to exciting exploration, including A-level play and roleplaying. 

Her pleasure 

We all know that men can think of sex, and they're good to go - but women require foreplay and arousal to truly get in the mood. You might feel a quickie is a lot of fun for her, but women need more time to reach orgasm. 

Spending more time catering for your partner's needs means she can experience immense pleasure and be more willing to indulge your fantasies. Give her the time of her life, and you might get a reward. 

We're talking about CIF and COB action or out-of-this-world oral sex. The opportunities are endless when you put some effort into physical intimacy. 

How to prioritise quality and have better sex 

Well, we stripped quantity and quality down, and it's clear that quality has the edge. 

Whether you're in a committed relationship or looking for some no-pressure fun, focusing on quality can make a significant difference to your emotional wellbeing and rescue you from a slump. 

Here's how to make time for quality. 

Don't jump in 

Just because a few minutes are available for a quickie doesn't mean you should jump in. Instead, why not think about what it will be like after waiting? Pleasure delaying can lead to more exciting sex when the time is right, resulting in intense orgasms. 

Harness that sexual energy and release it when you have time to indulge and experiment with your partner. 

Make time for each other 

When we say make time for each other, we don't mean schedule sex once a week at 9 pm. Instead, make a conscious effort to spend more time together, building intimacy and avoiding sitting in front of the TV. 

Conversation can be aphrodisiac, but who knows what will happen when you eliminate external interruptions? 

Experiment without sex 

You don't need to jump straight into sex - as tempting as it might be. Exploring fantasies and experimenting with roleplay can lead to quality sessions. If you'd prefer to be a little more adventurous, why not use BDSM to push the boundaries?

It can be a great way to let yourself go and build a stronger bond with your partner. Of course, simple massages and acting out each other's fantasies can also enhance your sex sessions. 

The bottom line 

Sex shouldn't be rushed or boring—although a passionate quickie can be just what the doctor ordered. Ultimately, it depends on your preferences and whether you feel your sex life is lacking quality. 

Following the tips in this post can help you rediscover pleasure and enjoy a satisfying sex life where passion is guaranteed. Have fun exploring.

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