As promised, it’s your turn guys…
Archive for March, 2009
Cherry Girls welcomes fabulous Mature Blonde Independent Escort Laura to London. She’s an English rose with an amazing figure who’s intelligent, chatty and flirty. Sounds like your type of girl, then go to her page to find out more…
Vivian is a sultry Latin independent London escort who’s open minded and sexy, but sensitive and warm too. Go to her page to find out more…
Something we found on the internet that made us giggle! Guys, you aren’t let off the hook, it’s your turn next…
50 MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE WHEN HAVING SEX
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can’t just flip a switch and get it up because you decide you fancy it. Getting it hard is your job.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner’s mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation.3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don’t, it’s your own fault when he’s snoozing and you’re all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that stuff. It makes men pass out. It’s a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it’s not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That’s uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn’t unreasonable, but when it’s time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that’s nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a porn star all the time. If you’re not willing to do that, don’t expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the stuff that women’s magazines like Cosmo force down our throats, sex is NOT just about women. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I don’t know who comes up with half of that stuff, but I’m pretty sure they need counselling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he’s pushing? Because you aren’t doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he’s given you. Pay attention to the signals that he’s sending you.
10. Not moving at all. The missionary position is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. I’m pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you’d better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don’t want to go bare. That’s fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his thing in your thing. That’s as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you are on. He didn’t do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like “I stubbed my toe” or “I was running up the stairs”.
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having sex anyway. Go back to junior school.
18. Getting your knickers in a twist when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, it’s his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Knocking quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There’s an amazing raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but have to have someone so badly that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a woosie to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start doing the business. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the arse, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his cock there.
22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help him out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If you’re shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. There’s no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you are not dead or didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you’re riding him. It’s your body, you’re used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner’s hand when he’s touching you. Don’t like the way he’s doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn’t. It’s your choice to stop, but don’t look all fucking surprised when he’s confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So you’re a feminist. Big deal. Letting him call the shots doesn’t make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. It’s ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It’s not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, don’t ignore them.33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn’t want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll, you’re not going to break. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder, so what? Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of “making love”. You’re not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it’s hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, bang their head on the bedside table, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It’s how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a hissy fit when he asks for a threesome. It’s a male fantasy.
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.40. Nails. It’s one thing tracing them up and down your partner’s back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Complaining when you get cum on you. You’re having sex. That will happen. That’s the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can’t cum and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he’s the best you’ve ever had, even if he isn’t.
43. Faking orgasms. Just don’t. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he’s doing everything right. And if he doesn’t know it’s not working, he’s not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven’t showered that day, and things smell a little… fishy… perhaps demanding oral sex is rather selfish.45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand. I don’t care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They’ll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it’s cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the cum off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitising everything your naked body might have possibly touched is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he’s probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like “it happens to every guy”. Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn’t, get off another way with him. He’s still capable of getting you off. Mumbling “Forget it” and rolling over is not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of “was it good for you?” Now is not a good time to ask “What does this mean?” Right now, it means he probably needs a drink, a pee and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
That is all.
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