Forget steam trains and model airplanes - this is the hobby guide that you have all been waiting for!

Part One – Back to Basics.

Every good boy knows that his own sexual pleasure is enhanced by giving his partner what they want in bed. Whether you are a sexual aficionado or a nervous beginner you can rest assured that the basics of great sex never change. When Julie Andrews sung, “Let’s start at the very beginning” she knew what she was talking about!

When two consenting adults are involved, there are no rules where sex is concerned. Cast aside any preconceptions about sex and think of your body as a big box of delights just waiting to be explored. Spice up your sex life by following these basic principles and don’t forget that practice makes perfect.

Eye contact is as essential during foreplay and intercourse as it is when you are flirting. In ancient oriental sex practices it is as important as getting your breathing right. It encourages trust and intimacy, as well as being a huge turn on. Watching sexual pleasure building in your lover’s eyes is about as sexy as it gets, so no eye contact during sex is impersonal and downright rude. A woman will know if you’re just ‘having a shag’ and you’ll never know just how good sex can be without a little more effort. You owe it to yourself to reach those dizzy heights!

Caressing a woman doesn’t mean heading straight for her knickers. Much as women love a fumble in their pants, they are not merely a set of walking genitals. For those of you who understand the car analogy - take a leaf out of Swiss Tony’s book and give the bodywork a thorough polish before taking it out for a spin. You’ll get better performance all round and you can feel superior when comparing notes with your mates.

Kissing, licking, biting and sucking are all delicious sensual treats and are guaranteed to get you both hot and horny. You will know if you’re a great snog by the reaction you get from your partner. Don’t you just love a woman who kisses you with her whole body? A truly great snog can induce a spontaneous orgasm, as can many other forms of caressing, so keep practicing.

Learning about each other’s sexual responses to touch is all part of the fun but never make the mistake of thinking someone is ‘crap’ before you have tried to train them up. Everyone has to learn somewhere and creating sexual confidence in your partner will brings boundless rewards.

Once you have got to grips with the basics of caressing your partner you can experiment with the effects of withdrawal. I’m not advocating abandonment but gentle, erotic game playing. Subtle withdrawal from any sexual encounter is hugely erotic as it stimulates a mild anxiety, which heightens pleasure.

Sensory deprivation and withdrawal are essential psychological tools to add to your repertoire. Sensory deprivation games are vastly improved with a blindfold but we can talk about that another day!

Role-playing is another hugely rewarding sex game. We all cherish our sexual fantasies so why not be brave enough to share them with your lover – as long as you don’t start with the more bizarre ones you may be surprised by their response.

“ Put this on and take me roughly from behind” is unlikely to get the desired effect. Delivery is everything so try a gentle approach. Even an S&M session has to be negotiated.

Essentials like Muff-Diving must be delivered with gusto and served hot. Experiment with what your lover likes. Looking bored or bemused is a mortal sin so just remember that your reward will be in heaven. Momentary withdrawal of the tongue during oral sex may be the ideal opportunity to test the ‘mild anxiety’ theory but be prepared for head injuries if you stall for too long.

Test out several different tongue techniques from a figure of eight, a little suction and penetration to gentle flicking. Just working the clit is cheating so take your time and play with everything.

You may want to experiment with female ejaculation by massaging her g-spot with your fingers. It is a ridged area about two inches inside the front wall of the vagina. It is easier to find when your lover is aroused as it swells when engorged, like the clitoris. It is sometimes referred to as the female prostate so it is well worth the time getting acquainted with it.

Another area worth getting to know is her Ass! Forget the myths about it being dirty and forbidden. It is rich in nerve endings and is a highly pleasurable erogenous zone. Freud got it wrong when he called it infantile – maybe he was too ‘anal’ to try it himself! If you haven’t tried it before then go slowly. Always use a condom and plenty of water based lubrication.

There is so much extra-intercourse fun to be had and so many tricks to learn so find a feisty lover to play with or make your old one re-invent themselves. Anything is possible once they realise what’s in it for them. Reciprocation is the key to eternal happiness.

Next time I’ll get down to the basics about sex toys, lubricant and how to help your lover make you a multi-orgasmic man!

Good luck and be good. Be very good!
Candy xx

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